Pitiful Plantain Pancakes

Today was an exciting first. I was going to make Plantain Pancakes from Africa for a ballet recital (I'll post about that later). I was SUPER excited that the grocery store had plantains to begin with, 2 for $1. So I set off to work at about 12pm. Here are my ingredients, minus the milk.

The next step was to peel and mash the plantains. So I peeled the husky like covering off the plantian. (side note: See that apron? I made that.)

Then I had to get rid of the seeds....Seriously people, I could have left the seeds in there and no one would have ever noticed cause they were so small. But me, being the person that plays by the rules, took all those little seeds out.

After that I tried to mash them. That didn't work...but I kept adding the ingredients thinking that maybe it wasn't supposed to be mashed completly. This is what I ended up with....

Let me tell you, it smelled like horse feed, but I kept going hoping for the best. I patted this uh...mixture into little patties and put them in the pan. I didn't get any pictures of that because I was trying not to catch the house on fire. This is the final product.

Don't they look delicious!?! I tried one and gagged. My brother ate one, my mom said the only reason he liked it was because he was male....
So still having one plantain left I decided to give it another shot. I peeled, de-seeded, added remaining ingredients and mixed. That plantain would NOT mix with the other things. Desperate times call for desperate measures, a help me text. I texted my friend who lived in Africa for a while. She informed me that in order to mash them, they have to be cooked first. I wish I had known that earlier.... With that, I quit. By this time it was at least 2pm.  I ended up taking them to the recital anyway. I just dropped them off at the table and hoped no one saw me or gets sick from eating them.